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Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer.
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[31 Jul 2009|03:27pm] |
i want to live on a ranch in south america. i am enjoying being alive very much. school is good and now i get a break for a few weeks. my next mission is spanish. i like julian. i have a vulgar idea of a good time. i like never having a boyfriend. although once he is through making love to his ego, i hope i can have my turn.
i have got all the time in the world.
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[08 Jul 2009|12:24pm] |
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Just ready to be somewhere else. No longer feel at home, even in my own home. Isolated, I was gone too long. Sorry for putting me what i put you through.
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[31 May 2009|11:40am] |
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yes. obstacles demolished, and a straight path is cleared up in front. old loves new loves they do not mean anything to me. i could leave right now forever and never look back. i have not felt this happy, since... since never. i have never felt this happy at all. this sense of freedom and this knowledge that one can acquire, and the best part is the endlessness of the whole thing. i no longer feel downsized by your shallow world, i only feel bigger. i just keep picking away at things, it is resulting in ectasy. eurphoria. i know all the reasons. i just want to open my mind a little wider, grab either end, and pull, pull till it begins to rip, stretch it as far as it will go. everything, it is all just culturally constructed, we are merely little products shaped by our language, our world view, and our environment.
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[21 Aug 2008|01:29am] |
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i am all better now
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[12 Aug 2007|02:48pm] |
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i believe the youth is being sucked right out of me.
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[28 Apr 2007|10:30am] |
hi.
i've been in a good mood for a few days now, im beginning to think im just happy. i love my new job. all i do is play with kids and take care of babies. the whole potty training thing can get kind of crazy, like when they shit their pants, but its okay. i get really tired though, its 9 hour days monday through friday, and when i get home i have three cats and an ian to take care of. and laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning and its just go go go go go go go go go all the time.
this weekend is the rodeo i guess and let me tell you that lakeside smells like a pig pile of horse shit, more than usually.
im going to go see bob dylan in july and im pretty damn excited about that. i want to make a trip out of it. and go to medicine places along the way, since theres none in san diego. but i think my card expires in june and therefore must be renewed before hand.
and i think thats it, i got a car, its the greatest thing, its a white volvo and it has a sun roof and its in wonderful condition.
my cat almost died and the vet bill was 16 hundred dollars, i didnt believe them, its was crazy she had to stay the night and they fixed her and what not but damn, expensive, good thing you can make payments.
jhgadewbnmgasdjhgasegdashgdjhasgjdhgJAZU i need to go to target.
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[29 Mar 2007|12:36pm] |
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i get surgery next week. and ill be a vegetable. ian doesnt know how to pick up after himself though. so i'll only get to be a semi vegetable. and then he takes all my vicodin, i should kill him. work is gay, the mall is a big faggot. but i get a raise, it'll probably be a quarter. i have a lot more hours so now i dont have to do quite so much nothing and a little more something. and i will save and i will buy a car and i will drive and i will be glad again. i like not drinking all the time, i have a lot more energy and can think a lot more clear. i lost over 20 pounds in a really short time and i still eat like a pig, i just dont drink its an amazing concept. one beer has 150 carlories in it. so does one soda though. i made tacos, tuesday taco night they were so good. i think im married but its okay. i need to go buy some cat food.
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[06 Mar 2007|12:21pm] |
i am all settled now. rents $300 cheaper every month. i still work in china town and have no hours so im poor and i really need to find a full time job. moving in was a big bitch, we had to find an apartment and move in all in one day. but we somehow succeeded. lakeside is really strange sometimes, it kinda reminds me of being younger and the smell of body odor. this guy above us is mildly retarted and he always comes knocking on our door, he just walks in and he spits a lot when he talks, he collects records and always asks to buy a few off of me. he offered me $200 for only three of them but i said no, even though i really need the money. our neighbors are nice, its a 19 year old girl and her boyfriend, we hang out sometimes, shes a talkative one. our apartment is cute, its bigger, we still havent got cable yet and i have seriously watched all six seasons of rosanne to an almost obsessive amount. its good television.
i took some pictures of our apartment that night it flooded:
this was the bedroom
a big hole in the bathroom
it was a mess.
im just glad we are all moved and crap. im getting used to my new town, i have a whole new out look on white trash.
lakeside is a dustier place sometimes it makes bubba sneeze:
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[14 Feb 2007|08:35pm] |
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we went out for a valentines dinner this afternoon.
we returned, i opened the door and my apartment felt like a big shower all steamy and stuff.
i took a step inside turned on the light and my aparment was not my apartment it was the ocean.
there was water everywhere. that shit was flooded to hell. inches of water, everything that was on the floor ruined.
we didnt have renters insurance either. happy fucking valentines.
my poor cats were on top of the tables, one was dripping wet, i hope they are okay.
im bummed. i should be there helping but im so stressed im just a spaz.
everything is ruined. its like why do things like this happen.
im all shakey im really fucking mad.
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[03 Feb 2007|11:59am] |
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boys, yeah their pretty fucking stupid.
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[04 Jan 2007|11:58am] |
christmas was good. i got every cooking appliance a girl could need. from a blender to a steamer to a cheese slicer thing. and a real good cook book, so now im a chef. ian got me two kittens and i love them. its a lot of work and they make too much messes. and eat a lot and shit a lot but they are so cute its worth it.
for new years we drove around by the ocean and then ended up going to santee to see his mom and then we came home and made vegetable and tuna cassarole and strawberry daquiries.
i was going to go pay rent today because i forgot to yesturday and as i go out my door this creepy looking bear hunting looking man hands me a letter. telling me that my rent is over three days late and now i owe 1100 dollars. what a mean guy i thought to myself.
i need a new job. im thinking maybe the post office. they start at over $17 an hour. but i know they'd do a background check so id like to make sure im sealed and ready to go before i apply.
minimum wage went up.
i now make minimum wage.
my jobs stupid and so is lotion.
i hope this year goes smoothly. no more encounters with the popos or any funny stuff.
and i have a good feeling it will.
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[18 Oct 2006|02:17pm] |
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hello,
im seeing bob dylan on sunday. which makes life good. im going to start looking for a new job again. i want a normal houred job. like 8 to 5 monday through friday kinda thing. i worked from 7 at night sunday to 7 in the morning monday. we had to do a floor set thing and it took my whole life. i thought i was going to die i was so tired. besides that everything else is fine. mine and ians 1 year and 6 months anniversary is tommrow, i just realized for some odd reason. mira mesa has a lot of indian people and it always smells like fried food.
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[01 Aug 2006|09:56am] |
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i just cleaned four hampster cages in the matter of like 5 minutes. crazy. yesturday was good. ian picked me up from work which made me happy for some dumb reason. then we went out to eat and i dont know but i think i have the chicken pocks or is it chicken pox. i have some scattered red dots and im constantly itchy. wierd. tiiime to go.
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[25 Jul 2006|09:42am] |
i like folk music. woody and arlo guthrie and joan baez are becoming an interest of mine. my tooth hurts extra bad today. its almost time for work. arlo captures my brain so well. i bought 14 records and a portable record player yesturday. it made me so happy.
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[19 Jul 2006|09:19am] |
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zjnmcsxcbmjszx.
good golly miss molly
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[10 Jul 2006|12:01pm] |
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If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie,
'Bout a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong.
With chains upon my feet.
But stories always end,
And if you read between the lines,
You'll know that I'm just tryin' to understand.
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[05 Jul 2006|08:51am] |
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yesturday was my only day off and i drank beer and barbecued and watched fire works off of ians balcony. i decided fire works are some pretty crazy things. i would really like to have my license back now, lesson has been learned. my room is so messy you cannot even see the floor. my hampsters rooms need to be cleaned too.
you better let somebody love you
before its to late
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[28 Jun 2006|02:26pm] |
my old case manager took me out to lunch to dennys yesturday and is giving me sea world passes today. i havent been to seaworld in like 82 years.
i am real confuesed.
last night i really thought about ian and well i threw up.
literally.
and i had just eaten a weed brownie.
so it sucked.
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[25 Jun 2006|08:11am] |
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i hate this shit i hate it hate it hate it.
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[24 Jun 2006|12:40pm] |
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my feet are covered in blisters. but the good part is i finally got new shoes for work. they kind of look like i should be tap dancing in them. i am no longer looking foward to the rest of my life. that is unless i am a stay at home mom or something. i dont know. but i was thinking about things and ever since then ive had a loss of appetite. i need to take out my curlers and go to ians work. and then mine. and then to bed.
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